dialogue

“I miss the way you made me feel so safe, and how your light blue eyes would light up your whole face.”

“You don’t recognize me, do you now. My face has changed, pain can really can a spell.”

“I know it’s you my darling, and it’s true. You said when I got married that I’d think of you.”

“I’m so very sorry it had to end. Does my poetry live on, honey? I meant what I said. Do you medicate those holes I left? Do you find it funny, that we built ourselves an empire with intention to leave?”

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found it in silence #poetryoutlet

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I didn’t say the words that reflected  my feelings

instead, I decided to not let my feelings have a say any longer

they were fickle friends, those feelings

only supporting me occasionally

but usually leaving me in the dust

to fend for myself

and confused as to how I ever ended up stranded in the first place

 

I looked up at them and smiled

not saying a word

in certain cases

silence is golden

inevitable tide #poetryoutlet

if you are the moon

 i am the ocean

surely you do not know

how you have forced my shallow waters into merging together

making me deeper

surely you’ve never contemplated

how much your gravity yanks me away

from the word I’ve pretended to live

safe at shore

among the highest of tides

surely you do not know

how you are all I see

come night fall

or how I long for your touch

your forces would change the chemistry of my heart

no, you don’t realize how much I need you

to be opium to my bloodstream

all you see is what I am at a distance

What really lights you up

Is the sun you keep staring at

I’ve accepted this

but when people tell me there are more fish in the sea

they don’t seem to quite understand

that I long for something out of this world

I wish I could stop feeling this way

for something so out of reach

but the tide is inevitable

 

 

The girl that has more guy friends

I’ve heard the sentence,

“I have more guy friends than I do girl friends”

come out of every single one of my friend’s lips, and yet we all flip the switch to

“guys suck” when it comes to relationships. Disclaimer: I’m not saying I’m guilt free of this.

But I’ve been doing some thinking, and I have a few theories as to why girls like to say that they’d rather chill with the dudes on a Friday night.

  1. It has almost become a thing to say, whether we realize it or not, that we try to convey to others that we are not high maintenance people. In other words, we might have an equal amount of guy to girl friends, but we like to say that “all of our friends are guys,” because this has become an accepted way of saying, “I think girls are pretty full of drama, and I like how guys are drama-free. Oh yeah, and they think I’m cool too, so there is my seal of chill-proval.”
  2. In a way we have all disowned us being female. Think about it. Usually our reason backing this sentence refers to following with, “Well, girls are just too full of drama!” Which, can be true. But the friends that we choose are our CHOICE. There are many girls that are not full of drama, and we are responsible for finding these friends that we can relax around. I don’t know if it’s fair of us to say that “girls are too much,” when we know that we all have our flaws, drama, and extremities that we carry with us. Maybe it’s really that, we don’t want to look in the mirror and see someone who is similar to us, so instead we prefer to hang with the guys, who typically aren’t focused on the same things we are, therefore, acting as a sort of distraction. It’s nice stepping away from the mirror. But girls relate to girls the best, and we all can understand and sympathize to each other the most.
  3. Therefore, I believe that if a girl says this and truly means it, she just hasn’t found the right girlfriends that will accept her for who she is, leaving drama and competition at the door.

Just some late night thoughts,

Have a blessed Thursday.

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xo,

lands

 

The Body of Christ

I was told as a little girl that the Body of Christ is a metaphor for a bunch of Christians. Lately, my perspective of this metaphor has altered.

The Body of Christ isn’t some religious jargon phrase created to make Christians feel like they are part of something. It is the definition of the spiritual experience felt when those who have the holy spirit living within them get together and form community. It is euphoric feeling when God puts a group of his creations together, all contributing important “parts” of his own, such as a deep compassion for others, a listening ear, and a broken heart that was transformed to help one another. We are all vital parts that contribute to the whole.

The Body of Christ is the foundation for true community and friendship.

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Providence Canyon, slice of hope

Yesterday my two roommates and I were all talking in the kitchen, discussing our love for travel and making loose plans to road-trip over the summer.

Until Harley spoke up.

“What’s stopping us from driving somewhere tomorrow?”

We all looked at each other and smiled. We’ve had many instances of plans falling through do to our different schedules and last minute excuses, so it’s almost funny when someone suggests something “for-real.”

“I’m all for it.” I wanted badly to get away for a little while. This college town wears on me like crusty mascara.

Then, suddenly, we were discussing the details. Who would drive, how gas was going to be cheap if we took the two and a half hour trek to Providence Canyon, Georgia, and just how beautiful it was going to be. We’d all seen pictures of the beautiful hiking trail, but none of us had actually been there. Why not give it a shot in the dark?

On Friday, Harley and I picked up Danielle from class at noon, swung by a Vegan lunch place to pick up baguette-style avocado toast for the road, and were on our way to away. Everyone had their turn to play music, and with the windows rolled down, rolling terrain that let us all know we were not in Florida anymore and happy hearts, we made our road-trip a reality in less than 24 hours.

When we arrived, we couldn’t yet see the canyon. I kind of liked this, because I wanted this to be our reward from hiking. When we followed each other on the red clay pathway, we breathed in the forrest air. It was a beautiful and quiet hike, none of us feeling the need to fill the silence with unnecessary chatter. We were nearing a bend, and caught a tiny glimpse of the red canyons. Looking past a DANGER: DO NOT ENTER sign, my roommates and I shimmied over the fence, feeling like high schoolers looking for trouble.

What we found?

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The most beautiful view I have seen in a long, long time. Red canyons, imperfect and untouched pathways, a red, pizza-like pathway to nowhere..

I was the first to stand on this pizza slice of fear, wanting to thrill myself. Looking down, I saw that from where I was standing on either side, the clay could crumble down and I’d find myself falling hundreds of feet. I walked further onto it, away from the “crust” of the pizza, closed my eyes, and felt free.

My roommates followed after me. What can I say? I’m not the best example. Or am I?

We took photos on this pizza of thrill, sure that not many people who have hiked this trail have been able to take the same photos.

This was the best part of the hike: taking a spontaneous risk that pushed my boundaries a little further, an appetizer for my adventure craving. I needed to find this pizza of thrill in order to truly adore this trail and it’s sights, not just look at the breathtaking view alongside the trail path’s viewing sights and move along.

Driving home, I realized that these trips were to me as necessary as studying for exams.

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#poetryoutlet

 

 

 

 

espresso is ordered at 7 am
the cafe speakers play James Taylor
i sit in a chair by the window
espresso is served to me
frothed to the rim
a hint of caramel softens its kiss
i drink fast
burning my tongue
who needs taste buds, anyway
when i only have eyes for espresso
it is a spark of electricity to my bloodstream
i take one shot
two shots

three
might as well be my ecstasy

now i’m the best person i could possibly be